Sunday, March 11, 2007

These vehicle wrecks need some serious explanations.

You might be a Redneck If, Part Du (Deux) ((Two)):

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You use the term 'over yonder' more than once a month.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You've been too drunk to fish.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Brain Teaser:

This is a story about a girl.

While at the funeral of her mother, she met a man whom she did not know. She thought he as amazing, her dream guy, and she fell in love with him but never asked for his number and could not find him after the funeral.

A few days later the girl killed her sister.

Question: What was her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you scroll down.

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Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the sister's funeral.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers have taken this test and answered it correctly.

If you didn't answer correctly, good for you.

I'll seriously like to know your response, please comment!

Here' an easy way to get shot by the cops (or others.......)....Hey Buddy, Nice Tat....

Was wit dis nu thang..???:
White Chicks & Gang Signs...

Catherine Tate Comedy Skit

Poor guy just can't get the girl....

In spite of your politics, you've got to feel sorry for President Bush. When elected he was liked, as time passed he was disliked, then he was thought an idiot, then he was hated, then called a terrorist, then he became a pariah....but now he has become "anathema" to the Mayan people.......

Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit

click Link for article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/09/AR2007030900076.html

Friday, March 09, 2007

Cool Jersey Joke forwarded from "Sal"..

Jersey Girl

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his
glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots
the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses
are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same
glass twice."

An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his
AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In
Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we
don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either.

The Jersey Girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her
beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air,
pulls out her gun and shoots the Mexican and the
Iraqi, and catches her glass. She says, "In New
Jersey we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs
that we don't have to drink with the same ones
twice.

This Bootiful Redneck Wedin' Pic. just almost brings Tears to my eyes...sniff..sniff..sob..sob....

Part 1 of You Might Be A Redneck If:

More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
You ever used lard in bed.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeurve.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
The primary color of your car is "bondo."
You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
You stand under the mistletoe at christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Your family tree doesn't fork.

The Hottest new thing for computer Nerds (like Me?) ............Yo' Homie....Pimp my PC...!!!!

Hold it There Buddy....Who would have thought Lenin could play B-Ball...!!

"Nothin' but Nyet"

From The Onion.....

Thanks to Frank S at work for bringing this news to my attention !!!!

FlaSh NeWS from Reuters:

Divorced Man Chain Saws House in 1/2 ....!!!!!!!

Breakups and divorces can often be messy affairs. But a German man took his impending divorce to extremes – by chainsawing a family house in half, and taking his half away.

The man, who is 43 years old, attacked the single storey summer house with his chainsaw after measuring it. The man is reportedly a trained mason, although that probably wasn't much help to him, as the house was made of wood.

Once he'd cut it in half, he picked one half up with a forklift truck, and drove it to his brother's house, in the town of Sonneberg.

A spokesman for the local police commented: 'The man said he was just taking his due. But I don't think his wife was too pleased.'

My Fortune Cookie Quote from today's Lunch:

"Do What is Right, Not What you Should"

Can someone help me with this.....???????

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Whoa Baby....remember never take candy from a stranger ...!!!! (They don't get much stranger than this !!!!)

I dare you to try Jolene's excellent Pinto Bean Fudge Experiment (below)....Trailer Park Cooking at it's Best...!!!

Trailer Park Cooking Special With Jolene : Pinto Bean Fudge

For those of you interested....here are the "real" emails which sent Astronaut Nowak ballistic.....made her drive cross country in a diaper then mace another female astronaut while she held a plastic bag and duct tape in her hand....

http://www.militarytimes.com/static/projects/pages/astronaut.pdf

Ok....now here's a calf (that's right calf, small cow) who eats live chickens.....a little scary..???

http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=365672007

Oh no.... Jack Bauer (not a real person) is back in the news again.....(maybe he should run for public office?)

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-08T130216Z_01_N06410040_RTRUKOC_0_US-TORTURE-1.xml&src=rss

Wow....talk about quality control......new $1.00 coins missing "E Pluribus Unum", "In God We Trust", the date and the Mint Mark...!!!...but printed on the side of the coin????..Look closely...OOOPs..

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-08T130636Z_01_N07257836_RTRUKOC_0_US-COINS-ERROR-1.xml&src=rss

Here's a nice article......Judge allows accused child molester to vacation at Disney World....what could possibly be wrong w/that....????.....

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/288706,CST-NWS-disney08.article

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Hey....you out there in Web-Land....don't forget to post a "comment" when you see my stupid pictures and articles....to give you the opportunity, here's a Stupid picture.....mag

Another reason to get Firefox:

Man sues Microsoft for porn 'embarrassment'

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

'Wow! Alice, it turns out your husband's really into furries.'

A computer user is suing Microsoft for £100,000 because his PC's Internet Explorer program did not delete records of the pornography he viewed.

Michael Crooker claims he was told his settings meant that his browser's history would be deleted after five days.

But he suffered 'great embarrassment' when his porn history was found by police, who arrested him in Connecticut on weapons charges, including allegations of selling illegally modified firearms and possessing bomb-making equipment.

Here's a new idea for robbing a bank....I mean since we don't all have guns we have to improvise......Man brandishing torch robs Alaska bank

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TORCH_ROBBERY?SITE=TXSAE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-03-06-16-08-00

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Dictionary word of the day ::

http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/archive/2007/03/06.html

Circle Circle Dot Dot - Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone

Rap along with the Homies of Circle Circle Dot Dot......mag

DICE stacking MOVES vol.2

For those of you who have never experienced the complex art of "Dice Stacking"....

Whoa Baby......From Tomb Raider to the Council on Foreign Relations:

Angelina Jolie has been elected a member of an exclusive American foreign policy think tank.

The UN goodwill ambassador will join US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, former secretary Henry Kissinger, and top economist Alan Greenspan in the ranks of the influential Council on Foreign Relations. .....well she is a mix of Czech, French-Canadian, Iroquois and English.......pretty cool....

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Why you don't let anybody take camera-phone pics of you in the toilet......don't worry Antonella.... NJ loves...you,.... you are one of US...!!!!....mag.

Nothing wrong w/her being my American Idol.......

Some St. Patrick's recipes for the upcoming Holiday.....Courtesy of Cooks.com

http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-00,irish,FF.html

for more traditional recipes.... http://www.irishfood.ie/
a website from Ireland....

Saturday, March 03, 2007

After the Boston Police Department had to blow up a suspicious looking man, someone made stickers to help the police understand what is, and what is not, a bomb.

A Picture of Cubby, Maggotx and Jay after playing several rounds of Disc Golf at the Rutgers Course. In spite of the muddy conditions the beautiful weather made for a great day of DG....for tons of disc golf videos and information visit Cubby's Disc Golf World...(see links section)....picture by Cubby......mag

OH MY GOD......now they're getting their own TV show......(gonna watch it?....)

http://smallscreen.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1272112.php/Geico_Cavemen_get_pilot_order_from_ABC

Friday, March 02, 2007

Finally, someone admits that "there appears to be no compelling technical or business case for upgrading to these new Microsoft software products. Furthermore, there appears to be specific reasons not to upgrade." It's The United States Department of Transportation! For some reason, they've included Internet Ecplorer 7 and Office 2007 along with Vista.

http://www.informationweek.com/news/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=197700789

These people need to realize that Jack Bauer is only a fictional character......

http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0212/p99s01-duts.html

Aye, Aye Aye............who wants to save the World's ugliest animals?........who would you rather have running around your local KFC?....A big rat or this creature?.......

http://www.slate.com/id/2160742/fr/rss/

FlasH......NEwS..!!!

Lunar Eclipse will occur this Saturday......March 3rd

At Sunset, find a clear place with no trees and turn your back to the Sun, face East and a Red (see pic) moon will rise in front of you.....don't blame me if it fails to show up.......mag

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2007/12feb_lunareclipse.htm

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

WE ARE BACK.......Bigger and Better than ever....hopefully our new layout and Live Feeds will provide a more complete "amateur" Blog experience. we will attempt to keep you informed, amused and entertained......please forward any comments links, and ideas to maggotx@gmail.com ... we look forward to hearing from you...................mag

Are you bringing back the Spontaneous Generation?! That's great! Well here, I have a post to start it off.

This is a band called Flight of the Conchords. They are self-described as "New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo a cappella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo". As of now, you can only see their work from HBO's One Night Stand on YouTube. Be sure to check out Business Time, Jenny, and the Gansta Folk Battle between the Rhymenoceros and the Hiphopopotamus.

http://youtube.com/results?search_query=flight+of+the+conchords&search=Search