Friday, March 16, 2007
66-Year Old Man Leaps White House Fence
Damn....I feel so safe knowing that Homeland Security and the Secret Service keeps our government safe.......(this is not a 30 yr old navy Seal...mind you....)
Cultural Literacy Test | Civics I
Ok....this Blog isn't just for laughs...(well it mostly is) ..however it's time to get Educated take the Civics I Cultural Literacy Test and Click on the Title on top and Post your score in the comments section.....not the kind of Civic to the right !!!......
Castro Discovers Immortality
Don't worry everyone, Fidel Castro "will be 'in perfect shape' to run for re-election to parliament next year". I was a bit worried someone else would have to run for reelection! Phew!
Ghetto Translations vs. White
Ghetto: Its off the hizzle for shizzle my nizzle.
White: It is quite exceptional, surely it is, my dear friend.
Ghetto: Da crew's bout to be bouncing up in here!
White: My companions and I will soon be entering the premises.
Ghetto: You got me straight trippin boo
White: Your antics have completely confused me,
Ghetto: You need to crack yo punk ass back to the burbs white boy
White: My Caucasian friend, it would be wise if you returned home to your suburban residence immediately.
Ghetto: He got mad skillz
White: His talents are quite exceptional
Ghetto: We be watchin the B Mac
White: My companions and I often spend the evenings watching the Bernie Mac television program on FOX broadcasting.
Ghetto: Who be creepin up da block?
White: My word, who could be in that slow moving automobile down the street?
Ghetto: You feel dat dawg?
White: I must ask, my dear friend, does this particularly appeal to your tastes?
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Kahlid Sheikh Mohamed
Now that Kahlid Sheik Mohamed has been captured and has been interrogated he has pleaded guilty to many other horrible offenses, (see link)
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/15/us/15gitmo.html?hp
apart from plotting 9/11 he has also claimed responsibility for over 30 other terroristic events including:
- 9/11 murder of 3,000 innocents
- the murder of Daniel pearl
- bombing of landmarks in London and NYC
- assassination plots against Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter and the Pope
- bombing of Israeli embassies
- plotting to blow up American Nuclear facilities
- airline shoe bombing
- the creation of American Idol
- the assasination of JFK
- the kidnapping of all missing children in America
- the invention of leisure suits
- the cause of global warming
- the rise in teenage pregnancies
- the popularity of rap music
- and the reason for the massive Latin American Immigration
Oh.....did I forget to mention that he also admitted to the Lindbergh Kidnapping and to Fathering Anna Nicole Smith's baby...???
Nowhere...I repeat....Nowhere but at Abiogenesis can you get a link to the Genuine North Korean Kim Jong-il ..Insult Generator
check it out.....click below...
http://www.nk-news.net/extras/insult_generator.php
Gay-Pride Parade
Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years
click link for article......(and to check out the Laguna Beach LeatherDaddy Association picture......!!)http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28491
Disc Golf at Tyler State park, PA
Cubby, Rob, Eric, Drew, Brett & Maggotx Disc Golfing at Tyler State Park in Pennsylvania (photo by Cubby)for more info on disc golf check out Cubby's site at the Links Section
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Nice quote forwarded by Captain Tom from work......
"You know the world is going crazy when the best
rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the United States of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."
Chris Rock's Quote of the Year:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best
rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the United States of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."
Man Rules.....
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' Ferrari
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum.
Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional).
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a buddy of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
You cannot rat out a coworker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' Ferrari
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum.
Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional).
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a buddy of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
You cannot rat out a coworker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
Check out this Nonsense....got $1,00.00 bucks to spare..????
Luxury Pie: NYC Restaurant Offers $1,000 Pizza
Click the Link for more info....http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_073150337.html
With all the problems in the World....things like this just drive me BANANAS....!!!!!!!
Click on the Link Below..!!!!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070314/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/terrorism_bananas
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Catherine Tate - Translator
One of the stupidest videos in a while...from a Maggotx Blog favorite...Catherine Tate....enjoy
I'm not sure if this is real (I think it is)....but check out these pics of planes breaking the sound barrier...(thanks to Billy K is Florida)......
http://pic1.funtigo.com/valuca/?g=26731427&cr=1
OK.... I don't give a Damn what you say....This has to be one of the Coolest People alive....and to top it off his neighbor is John Travolta......cool beans...????check out the article at the link;
http://fogonazos.blogspot.com/2007/01/airparks-plane-in-your-garage.html
Baby Sloth
Yawn....Yawn...just when you thought you'd seen most stupid animals/////how about a baby Sloth waking up......I feel like I just got to work.......hey guys let's go get Henry's Coffee.....!!!!!
Oh Yeah....Aha !!!...maybe I'll UP my hit count by showing the Hooters Chicks...????
http://www.hootersmagazine.com/hootersgirls.html
Sunday, March 11, 2007
You might be a Redneck If, Part Du (Deux) ((Two)):
- Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
- Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
- You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
- The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
- The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
- Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
- You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
- Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
- The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
- You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
- You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
- You use the term 'over yonder' more than once a month.
- The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."
- Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
- You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
- Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
- You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
- The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
- You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
- You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
- The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
- You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
- Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
- You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
- You've been too drunk to fish.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Brain Teaser:
This is a story about a girl.
While at the funeral of her mother, she met a man whom she did not know. She thought he as amazing, her dream guy, and she fell in love with him but never asked for his number and could not find him after the funeral.
A few days later the girl killed her sister.
Question: What was her motive in killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the sister's funeral.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers have taken this test and answered it correctly.
If you didn't answer correctly, good for you.
I'll seriously like to know your response, please comment!
In spite of your politics, you've got to feel sorry for President Bush. When elected he was liked, as time passed he was disliked, then he was thought an idiot, then he was hated, then called a terrorist, then he became a pariah....but now he has become "anathema" to the Mayan people.......
Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit
click Link for article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/09/AR2007030900076.html
Friday, March 09, 2007
Cool Jersey Joke forwarded from "Sal"..
Jersey Girl
A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his
glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots
the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses
are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same
glass twice."
An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his
AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In
Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we
don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either.
The Jersey Girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her
beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air,
pulls out her gun and shoots the Mexican and the
Iraqi, and catches her glass. She says, "In New
Jersey we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs
that we don't have to drink with the same ones
twice.
Jersey Girl
A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his
glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots
the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses
are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same
glass twice."
An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his
AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In
Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we
don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either.
The Jersey Girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her
beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air,
pulls out her gun and shoots the Mexican and the
Iraqi, and catches her glass. She says, "In New
Jersey we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs
that we don't have to drink with the same ones
twice.
Part 1 of You Might Be A Redneck If:
- More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
- Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
- You ever used lard in bed.
- Your home has more miles on it than your car.
- You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeurve.
- There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
- You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
- Fewer than half of your cars run.
- Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
- The primary color of your car is "bondo."
- You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
- You stand under the mistletoe at christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
- Your family tree doesn't fork.
Thanks to Frank S at work for bringing this news to my attention !!!!FlaSh NeWS from Reuters:
Divorced Man Chain Saws House in 1/2 ....!!!!!!!
Breakups and divorces can often be messy affairs. But a German man took his impending divorce to extremes – by chainsawing a family house in half, and taking his half away.
The man, who is 43 years old, attacked the single storey summer house with his chainsaw after measuring it. The man is reportedly a trained mason, although that probably wasn't much help to him, as the house was made of wood.
Once he'd cut it in half, he picked one half up with a forklift truck, and drove it to his brother's house, in the town of Sonneberg.
A spokesman for the local police commented: 'The man said he was just taking his due. But I don't think his wife was too pleased.'
Thursday, March 08, 2007
http://www.militarytimes.com/static/projects/pages/astronaut.pdf
Ok....now here's a calf (that's right calf, small cow) who eats live chickens.....a little scary..???
http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=365672007
Oh no.... Jack Bauer (not a real person) is back in the news again.....(maybe he should run for public office?)
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-08T130216Z_01_N06410040_RTRUKOC_0_US-TORTURE-1.xml&src=rss
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-08T130216Z_01_N06410040_RTRUKOC_0_US-TORTURE-1.xml&src=rss
Wow....talk about quality control......new $1.00 coins missing "E Pluribus Unum", "In God We Trust", the date and the Mint Mark...!!!...but printed on the side of the coin????..Look closely...OOOPs..
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2007-03-08T130636Z_01_N07257836_RTRUKOC_0_US-COINS-ERROR-1.xml&src=rss
Here's a nice article......Judge allows accused child molester to vacation at Disney World....what could possibly be wrong w/that....????.....
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/288706,CST-NWS-disney08.article
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/288706,CST-NWS-disney08.article
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Another reason to get Firefox:
Man sues Microsoft for porn 'embarrassment'
'Wow! Alice, it turns out your husband's really into furries.'
A computer user is suing Microsoft for £100,000 because his PC's Internet Explorer program did not delete records of the pornography he viewed.
Michael Crooker claims he was told his settings meant that his browser's history would be deleted after five days.
But he suffered 'great embarrassment' when his porn history was found by police, who arrested him in Connecticut on weapons charges, including allegations of selling illegally modified firearms and possessing bomb-making equipment.
Here's a new idea for robbing a bank....I mean since we don't all have guns we have to improvise......Man brandishing torch robs Alaska bank
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TORCH_ROBBERY?SITE=TXSAE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-03-06-16-08-00
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TORCH_ROBBERY?SITE=TXSAE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-03-06-16-08-00
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Circle Circle Dot Dot - Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone
Rap along with the Homies of Circle Circle Dot Dot......mag
DICE stacking MOVES vol.2
For those of you who have never experienced the complex art of "Dice Stacking"....
Whoa Baby......From Tomb Raider to the Council on Foreign Relations:
Angelina Jolie has been elected a member of an exclusive American foreign policy think tank.
The UN goodwill ambassador will join US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, former secretary Henry Kissinger, and top economist Alan Greenspan in the ranks of the influential Council on Foreign Relations. .....well she is a mix of Czech, French-Canadian, Iroquois and English.......pretty cool....
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Some St. Patrick's recipes for the upcoming Holiday.....Courtesy of Cooks.com
http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-00,irish,FF.html
for more traditional recipes.... http://www.irishfood.ie/
a website from Ireland....
Saturday, March 03, 2007
After the Boston Police Department had to blow up a suspicious looking man, someone made stickers to help the police understand what is, and what is not, a bomb.
A Picture of Cubby, Maggotx and Jay after playing several rounds of Disc Golf at the Rutgers Course. In spite of the muddy conditions the beautiful weather made for a great day of DG....for tons of disc golf videos and information visit Cubby's Disc Golf World...(see links section)....picture by Cubby......mag
OH MY GOD......now they're getting their own TV show......(gonna watch it?....)
http://smallscreen.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1272112.php/Geico_Cavemen_get_pilot_order_from_ABC
Friday, March 02, 2007
Finally, someone admits that "there appears to be no compelling technical or business case for upgrading to these new Microsoft software products. Furthermore, there appears to be specific reasons not to upgrade." It's The United States Department of Transportation! For some reason, they've included Internet Ecplorer 7 and Office 2007 along with Vista.
http://www.informationweek.com/news/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=197700789
These people need to realize that Jack Bauer is only a fictional character......
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0212/p99s01-duts.html
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0212/p99s01-duts.html
Aye, Aye Aye............who wants to save the World's ugliest animals?........who would you rather have running around your local KFC?....A big rat or this creature?.......
http://www.slate.com/id/2160742/fr/rss/
FlasH......NEwS..!!!
Lunar Eclipse will occur this Saturday......March 3rd
At Sunset, find a clear place with no trees and turn your back to the Sun, face East and a Red (see pic) moon will rise in front of you.....don't blame me if it fails to show up.......mag
http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2007/12feb_lunareclipse.htm
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
WE ARE BACK.......Bigger and Better than ever....hopefully our new layout and Live Feeds will provide a more complete "amateur" Blog experience. we will attempt to keep you informed, amused and entertained......please forward any comments links, and ideas to maggotx@gmail.com ... we look forward to hearing from you...................mag
Are you bringing back the Spontaneous Generation?! That's great! Well here, I have a post to start it off.
This is a band called Flight of the Conchords. They are self-described as "New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo a cappella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo". As of now, you can only see their work from HBO's One Night Stand on YouTube. Be sure to check out Business Time, Jenny, and the Gansta Folk Battle between the Rhymenoceros and the Hiphopopotamus.
http://youtube.com/results?search_query=flight+of+the+conchords&search=Search
This is a band called Flight of the Conchords. They are self-described as "New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo a cappella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo". As of now, you can only see their work from HBO's One Night Stand on YouTube. Be sure to check out Business Time, Jenny, and the Gansta Folk Battle between the Rhymenoceros and the Hiphopopotamus.
http://youtube.com/results?search_query=flight+of+the+conchords&search=Search
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Friday, July 09, 2004
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Monday, July 05, 2004
Friday, May 21, 2004
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
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