Kennedy, just moments before the self-generated cranium-shattering heard around the world.New Theories Suggest Kennedy Wasn't Shot
DALLAS—A controversial new book about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy has raised questions not about the role of a lone gunman or a conspiracy of shooters, but about whether the late president was even even shot at all.
While the book, Outside the Crosshairs, does not dispute the fact that a massive portion of Kennedy's skull was separated from his head during the 1963 Dallas visit, it maintains that the president suffered fatal explosive- cranial trauma through means completely unrelated to gunshots.
"Certainly extreme force was involved in this tragic death," said Dr. Horace Musashi, the book's author and a professor of computer science at Mount Union College in Alliance, OH. "However, none of the available photographs or recorded footage provides even a shred of evidence that an actual bullet did anything to Kennedy's body. As scientists, therefore, we must consider all other possibilities, no matter how much they challenge the status quo."
Musashi himself favors an explanation known as the single-massive-spike-in-blood-pressure theory.
After 11 years of painstaking research, Musashi uncovered testimony from anonymous eyewitnesses who claimed that unopened packets of duck sauce and soy sauce were hastily removed from Air Force One after the assassination. According to the book's findings, the extremely high levels of monosodium glutamate combined with the stress of mediating an intense international ballistic-missile crisis caused Kennedy's systolic pressure to mount to the point where the right rear quarter of his cranium "shot clean off."
1 comment:
The single-massive-spike-in-blood-pressure theory convinces me. I always thought a bit too much of his skull flew off. We can finally put this national tragedy behind us.
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